Here’s the thing:
I seem to have lost my running mojo.
My race times are slower than they once were, and no matter how hard I train, I just can’t seem to get any faster.
Everything seems fine during training. I’ll start to feel a little stronger, a little fitter, a little faster. But then I’ll run a race.
And completely bomb.
Any tiny bit of confidence that I may have gained during training disappears. Self-doubt takes over. I get REALLY down on myself.
And I keep repeating this cycle over and over again.
Those negative feelings about myself were beginning to seep over into other areas of my life. I knew that I needed to make some changes. My self-confidence should not be contingent on whether I set a PR.
I usually run alone, early in the morning. Over the years, I’ve seen so many things during my runs that I’ve wanted to share.
So, I’ve started bringing my camera with me when I run (and leaving my Garmin at home). Instead of worrying about my pace, I’m noticing the world around me. I’m looking for interesting or beautiful things, and I’m taking pictures.
Instead of finishing each run feeling down on myself and freaking out about why my pace is so slow, I finish thinking about everything that I just saw. I’m excited to get home and sort through the pictures, and choose which one to post.
In addition to adding my “Seen on the run” posts, I also thought it would probably be a good idea for me to not run a fall marathon this year.
But after having such a blast at the Blue Ridge Marathon, I may not be able to resist. If I do decide to run one, it will be purely for the love of running, though. Not for a PR.
I’m trying to be okay with that.
Right now, for me, running needs to be about getting outside and experiencing life. I need to appreciate the scent of honeysuckle and of the damp earth beneath my feet. I need to see the sun rise, and the flowers in bloom. I need to feel proud of the hills I climb and the miles I run, even if I’m not running them as fast as I’d like.
I’m hoping that I will eventually find my running mojo again and that training for races won’t feel like a completely pointless pursuit forever. But until that happens, I’ll be running with my camera and taking a lot of pictures.
So that, my friends, is my story behind the “Seen on the run” posts.
Now, go outside.
Maybe take a jog around the block and have a look around.
Either that, or set a new PR for me 🙂